hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
