guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
