It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
