Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
