Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
