Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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