Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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