Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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