I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
