New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
