just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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