Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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