What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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