I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
