I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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