tell your sister to shave her snatch
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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