one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
