Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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