I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
