New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
