My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
