I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
