I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
