so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
