This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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