he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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