drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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