It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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