Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
