you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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