Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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