I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
