i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
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I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
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She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
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