I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
