I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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