1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever