I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.