And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
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