if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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