Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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