I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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