Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
