Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
