Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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