The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
