why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
