READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Girls should come with a carfax report
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Randomize
