I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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