im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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