I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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