I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
