In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
