Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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