maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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