Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Randomize
