i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
