what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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