I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
