Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
