My boss' voice literally gives me gas
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
