Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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