Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
