so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
