maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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