okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
