I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
