I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
