Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
