Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
